I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just high enough for therapy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
