this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize