We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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