You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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