I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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