College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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