She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
