"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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