help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
