your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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