what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
