She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
