I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
