I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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