oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There r osticjed everywhere
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
