My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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