Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
