oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
