I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
