i'm signing you up for texting rehab
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
