Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
