oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize