Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
