Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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