she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
