i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize