So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
