Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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