friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's blow job season.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
