this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wear drunk well.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
