Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
