Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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