I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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