Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize