dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
