And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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