apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
