and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
