He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I was just told Iām pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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