Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
so much tequila, so little girl.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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