boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
