Your dad touched me again.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
