I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
This is classic penis vs brain.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
