Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
