My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
