I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You are the jesus of drinking
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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