Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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