he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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