now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
