my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
