i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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