I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
