Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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