Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
