so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
