he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
