Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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