he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
