Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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