Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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