last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
