two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
