Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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