This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
