Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
