Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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