Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
